Taken too soon


Park bench built for two
How odd
I sit and wait for you.

I know you won't come
You never do
But, I'll sit and wait
and hope
today is the day you do.

Sounds silly when I say it out loud
"Just once I'd like to not see your face in a crowd."
I can envision you anywhere
I can envision you with anyone.
It's seeing you with me ~
That's the key!

I hear your laughter and I have to look
Sadly, it wasn't you.
I smell your cologne and I try to follow the scent
It leads me somewhere I've never been.

I read a sign that reminds me of you
Crazy, everything brings me to you ~
but you.

Did you have to go?
I've wished you back a million times
Then I read the note 
I've held onto so long ~

"Taken too soon but never forgotten"

That's still as far as I've gotten.


Love me?


I can't let you love me.

If I do ~
I'll have to share all of me.
And what if you can't 
handle all that I am?

The wall that I built
The humor I hide behind
The sarcasm I use
to keep them on their toes ~

It's what I do
To keep them away
So they can't see ~
I can't let them love me.

The pain 
The loneliness
The fear
That's kept inside
I've locked away from everyone.
For, It can't be used against me
When it's unshared.

It's not something I meant to do
It's just how things have become.
Maybe,
Under a bright moon
If the stars will align
I'll open my heart
And see
If I can let you love me.






Depression takes hold



How can I explain this pain to you?

It's as if you are standing at the edge
of a cliff
but
nothing is behind you
nothing in front of you
and darkness is falling 
down on you. 

There is no room to sit
The ground is breaking beneath your feet.
You can't move!
You scream
but you don't know if anyone 
will hear you.
You don't know if anyone will 
look for you.

The terrible things that leak 
from your mind
Telling you
"You're out of time."

Suddenly there isn't enough air to breathe.
Your lungs become hungry.
Your eyes dry
Your throat empty
No sounds are allowed to pass.

Your heart beats~ 
but with each beat
It's a punch to your lungs
That already can not inflate.

These are the feelings I feel
When depression
takes hold of me.